Feedback

Can we talk about feedback for a moment?

When you make something and share it with the world (an activity I highly recommend!), you’re creating a situation where people might express an opinion about what you created and shared. That’s kinda the goal and often is pretty great. Personally, I think it’s a real bummer when my creative efforts are ignored or met with silence.

But… let’s also note that getting feedback isn’t always giggles and rainbows either. Recently, I got two very different responses to my work – interestingly, these came in on the exact same day.

First, a friend sent me a link to a snarky, sarcastic video they’d found that was VERY critical of me and my work (and, for some reason, criticized my smile?). The video narrator did not show their face or their name (or their smile!), but they sure spent a lot of time showing my smiling face and saying my name. He got lots of things wrong in the video – for example he said I never worked as an engineer and was never in the military, although I in fact spent 20 years in uniform… as an engineer. Ironically, at one point he claimed to agree with me… on something my book does not say (in fact, it says the opposite). With so many facts wrong, he’s not exactly a critic I’m going to take personally or seriously, and his commentary clearly falls into the category of trolling rather than constructive criticism.

Later that very same day, I received a lovely, thoughtful review by someone who actually read my first book and thoroughly enjoyed it. She asked permission to send me a review she’d written – yes, I would be delighted to read your positive review of my work – and of course she signed her name to the request. It’s not often I get such an enthusiastic response to my work, and her review was a delicious antidote to the toxic spew from the earlier video.

I’m not sure what you’ll take away from this story, but it got me thinking about several things.

First, making work public is a social act, and I genuinely want people to respond to my work. I want to hear their responses and reactions.

Second, people can respond in very different ways to the same work… sometimes even on the same day!

And third, some responses are more valid than others. Yup, I liked the written review more, because it was positive and kind. But that review is also more credible, because she had clearly read the book, she got the facts right and offered direct quotes. Plus, she signed her name to the piece. I generally find anonymous opinions less credible than opinions accompanied by the person’s name.

So… when you share your work with the world (and I hope you do), prepare for people to respond to it (and I hope they do). Don’t let the haters drag you down and don’t let the positive reviews go to your head. In either case, don’t pay too much attention to anonymous comments, reviews that get the facts demonstrably incorrect, or gratuitous criticisms of your smile (I promise, your smile is lovely!). When you’re the one crafting a response of some type, sign your name if you want to be taken seriously. And of course, please be kind.